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Don’t get me wrong, I liked the movie Michael Clayton – you’ve got the venerable and somewhat ageless George Clooney sporting a five thousand dollar Armani suit trying to fix tangles in both his professional and personal life within a two hour maelstrom of intense movie magic. But, you know, sometimes I get the feeling that while circled around a glossy oak conference table with a necktie wound up slightly too tight, that I myself am dealing with U-North like characters (U-North was the fictitious multinational company that produced a cancer causing herbicide and gave Clooney the crux of his migraine throughout the film).

 When I talk about this online-marketing “game” or “industry,” everyone tries their best to weed out the U-North’s from the Berkshire Hathaways, but I think the issue goes a bit deeper than that.

Arguably one of the most fascinating corporations in the whole wide world is Kirby Vacuum,   Founded in 1906 by John Kirby, Kirby Vacuum is a subsidiary of Scott Fetzer Company. Warren Buffett is both the chairman of the board and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, the publicly traded holding company which owns Scott Fetzer. Kirby makes its loot by selling thousand dollar vacuums (excuse me, floor care systems) to Americanas’ families almost exclusively door-to-door. Kirby’s sales associates canvas low-income neighborhoods, spray debris on rugs like early morning napalm, and pressure individuals to buy their wares. Keep in mind that I am not denouncing the quality of the Kirby vacuum per se – from third party reviews, online testimonials, and first hand experience, the Kirby vacuum is a testament to quality. Buffett knew what he was getting into by associating himself with this agency’s product- so long as dust mites, dirty rugs, and over-protective parents of asthmatic kids exist, Buffett will still have a steady stream of profit coming from this arm of his business (Kirby might better be described as a little toe as it accounts for less than 1% of Berkshire’s total revenue- we’ll save Buffett’s bigger bucks counterparts like Tony Nicely, Geico, and General Re for the next article).

Kirby’s products aren’t a euphemism for cancer – they don’t even encourage kids to vegetate and play Grand Theft Auto IV. But there is a definitive area of concern (throwing aside the pressured sales tactics) in that Kirby customers are encouraged to finance their vacuums, making small monthly payments for months or even years. In the current state of economic anxiety, a thousand dollar vacuum might not seem like the best long term solution for a family clawing to feed, dress, and educate their children. But, again, is this really the point?

What I am trying to get at is more a function of Buffett himself and his perceived level of both accountability and responsibility. Does he know the early morning Kirby corporate jingle? Is he aware of the sales and financing techniques used by representatives (reps aren’t actually employees; they’re independent contractors, so Buffett doesn’t have to foot the tax bill on their behalf)? Does he read the heavy flow of internet fodder which lays waste to his most beloved suction device? If a Kirby sales representative commits a crime while on a “presentation” is the district dealer, Kirby CEO Robert McBride, or Warren Buffett himself, culpable for this act? Should Buffett even be aware of these esoteric happenings and practices, or should we expect him to focus on burning the midnight oil mulling over EBITA, balance sheets, income statements, and P/E ratios for the almost one hundred separate companies under his Hathaway umbrella? Am I trying to expand the lexicon of a seventy-eight year old man who wasn’t born on Krypton, eats steaks and drinks five cherry Cokes a day too far? Will Kirby’s existence at all prove to be a long-term Pyrrhic victory for the Oracle of Omaha?

Mr. Buffett purports that he is responsible for locating, attracting, and retaining quality CEOs to run each of his companies. The quality of this executive vetting process will minimize the risk of jeopardizing Berkshire Hathaway’s traditional dominance over Standard and Poor’s yearly reported returns. Times have changed though, and the days of modern day Attila the Huns feigning ignorance like Richard Fuld and Kenneth Lay are no longer acceptable by both shareholders and American citizens who ultimately bear the full tsunami of their insatiable greed.

It would be interesting if Warren Buffett owned or invested in a search engine marketing firm – I mean, he customarily shies away from owning firms that are stuck in the novel rut of Internet reliance like Google and Amazon (sarcasm noted, and keep in mind Buffett’s company Geico does shell out over half a million dollars per day in internet advertising). But, if he did, the questions that have been raised in the Kirby vacuum paradigm may help move his examination process forward more efficiently:

1. How does a particular marketing agency acquire its client base?
2. How diverse and vetted is the client acquisition process?
3. How accountable is the online marketing agency for its actual results?
4. Does the internet marketing agency have a specific niche focus for organic search listings, pay per click analysis and maintenance, conversion analysis and improvement, or local search results?
5. What results or metrics are used to define a campaign’s success or failure and how transparent are these results?
6. How responsible, involved, and responsive is the CEO in the underpinnings and grit of the business?
7. What is the CEO’s overall marketing, business, and life philosophy?
8. How much empathy is given to the client’s particular situation on a monthly / weekly / daily basis?
9. What is the “drop-off,” if any, between the intelligence / motivation / business approach of the strategist piecing together a marketing plan and the optimizer who actually implements the work?
10. Is there an overall corporate philosophy or undertone that the ends justify the means?

To be fair to my friend Warren, and to paraphrase former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara, I feel that every CEO, investor, and analyst (Jim Cramer and myself included) should be prepared to re-examine his or her reasoning. I believe that both a broad and deep analysis in regards to industries, corporations, individuals, and ourselves is necessary to make any informed call on many different levels. But, the toughest challenge might arguably be putting this philosophy into practice consistently throughout our lives while still having enough time to eat sleep and occasionally vacuum our rugs.